"Take care of yourself: Maintain your stamina and let go of guilt."
In order to overcome the obstacles, groups need sustainable energy and for that, leaders shouldn't forget about taking care of themselves, which is often too underestimated in contrast with its real importance.
However, from my personal experience, I think its quite difficult for leaders to keep the balance.
In my case, in contrast with Shackleton, I think I'm good at taking care of my self but sometimes I "too much" take care of myself and probably resulting as a loss of my presence as a leader.
When I was too filled up with everything and feeling that I had no more capacity to deal with any more work, I told that to my junior staff not by saying directly but by showing certain attitude such as softly suggesting her to talk particular issue not to me but to other one of my peers. Since then, that junior staff apparently hesitate to bring any issue to me and instead, she's trying to solve or promote things by herself. This was not a preferable situation....actually it "is", since to tell the truth, its an on-going issue.
Therefore, I now sometimes think that even if I actually did not have any more capacity, I should never show that to my members taking it as an obligation or role of a leader.
Nevertheless, at the same time, I do think that it's an obviously case to avoid for the leader that keeping every frustrating feeling inside.
Therefore, I found the part "Find Outlets for Your Own Feelings" in the book pithy.
I wrote the reflection note of the year at the end of 2014, and there I wrote that "this year, I was really helped by the lots of people around me giving me advice, always listening to my story with a sympathetic comment..." This meant that whenever I felt so depressed by the work as a Convener, I was helped a lot by the people around me (mainly they were not the members of my group).
We do not have to tell every single situation or our feelings. Just telling part of the everything to someone and receiving warm words or wise advises is really, enough and effective. Actually, no other year than the last year I felt the preciousness of my reliable friends.
Essentially and basically, leaders are solitary.
However, sometimes and in some cases, leaders should know how to reach for the help.
Hi Ei! Your experience is interesting for me. When I was leader of brass band club, I also felt like you that changing the member's behavior by my each behavior or words I said. I know that it is difficult to change my own style or habit, but it might be fun that keep thinking how can I be a good leader that is only one for me. It is so interesting to hear others experience of leadership, because it is different depending each leader. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThanks again, Erina, for commenting.
DeleteHi Ei,
ReplyDeleteGreat post, again, and thanks for posting your research proposal. As you say, it is lonely at the top. At the same time, finding outlets to express our feelings is the key to emotional health. This is something that is talked about a lot by leaders.
I like too your comments on delegating responsibility. Finding the balance between giving people responsibility so it lessens your burden and helps them feel involved, with careful monitoring so you can remain feeling in control is a very difficult balance.